To Whom Shall We Go?

What a beautiful thing, I believe, it is to be so wrecked by the love of Jesus, that even if we wanted with all of our hearts to run and abandon ship, we couldn't. Even if we tried we would have nowhere to go. To be so messed up by the love of God that our old friends wouldn't take us back for lack of comprehension over how to handle the radical change that has happened so fast... That even if we tried to return to the old parties, the old crowds, the old hangouts we couldn't do it. They wouldn't accept us and we would forever be stuck knowing, "There is something better than this."

But I find that too often we get comfortable not being able to fit in our old lives... We celebrate it. Many psychologists will say that humans have this built-in longing to be accepted. Mike Bickle (IHOP-KC)and Deborah Hiebert further this in The Seven Longings of the Human Heart in saying humans have been given a longing to be enjoyed by God. In knowing that He takes pleasure in each of personally we find acceptance. "That's fine if my old friends don't accept me... My new friends who love Jesus too do!" But what do you do when your new friends have hurt you to the point where you want to go back? ("Oh, no! That doesn't happen in the church! The church is too perfect to hurt itself!") Wrong. The church is human too. Therefore, as a byproduct of being human, mistakes are made. The church doesn't always accept the way Jesus does, unfortunately. Praise Him for grace. We are all learning.

But in all seriousness, what do you do when you come to a point where you would absolutely quit everything...quit your ministry...quit your relationships...even quit on Jesus? The only thing that is holding you back is the fact that your head knows you would never find as much joy anywhere else! Your head knows this has to be something that will pass! Your head knows that you will make it through this - you just have to endure. All it takes is time because while your head knows it, your heart doesn't. Your heart struggles with dragging day by day by day. Your heart is longing for everything to end, but your head keeps you going.

So Jesus said to the Twelve, "Do you want to go away as well?" Simon Peter answered Him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that You are the Holy One of God.

John 6:67-70 (ESV)

Let's spend a moment on the disciples. The crazy thing about these fellas and the way they followed Jesus is that they really didn't know what they were getting themselves into. I mean, they did eventually. But not while Jesus was with them. If you look in the Bible when Jesus speaks about His death and resurrection, Luke 18:34 says, "But they [the disciples] understood none of these things. This saying was hidden from them, and they did not grasp what was said." So think about this: these men left the jobs they were born into (aka The Family Business), risk total rejection by their people to follow a man who says, "Drink my blood! Eat my flesh!" Offends the religious but loves them all the more... This man who claims to be the Son of God and the Son of Man... They give up absolutely everything to follow this man who A) is who He says He is, or B) is an absolute nutter. And yet beyond the persecution, something inside of them says, "Hey... This guy is the real deal. He's done these crazy miracles. We've seen some pretty weird stuff." And they stick with Him! What loyalty that takes...to not know...to not understand...and yet still you remain faithful.

And then Jesus says, "Drink my blood! Eat my flesh!" and the Bible says, "After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him." I can imagine this was a defining moment for the disciples. Were they going to follow everyone, even the church kids, or were they going to follow Jesus?

That's sort of how it works with God, isn't it?
You don't always know what to do or what to say...you don't always understand what did or did not happen...it doesn't always make sense why...and yet somehow you still follow His voice because you know in the end He has a way better grasp on the Truth than you do. I guess that would be because He is Truth. He is the ultimate definition. The definition of what is good and what is pure. What is just and what is righteous. What is merciful and what is compassion. The definition of patience, grace, and endurance. He is love. And when everyone else likes to pick and choose things, you have to realize that He has the words of eternal life and He is the Holy One of God.

The funny thing is that there are some things, like this, we would never know or come to realize or face in our lives if we had never been hurt in the first place. We would never come to realize how much the Lord has truly done in our lives until we want to turn back, but to whom would we go?

You hear the phrase "beauty from pain" so often, but I truly believe this is it. The beauty in brokenness.
The beauty in really coming to a place of, "Wow. Jesus, You really are the only One who will never fail me. You really are the only One I could ever put all of my trust in. You really are the only One who will never leave me, never forsake me, who won't give up on me, even when I want to give up on you."

"You are still faithful even though I am faithless." 

If we have died with him, we will also live with him; 

if we endure, we will also reign with him; 

if we deny him, he also will deny us; 

if we are faithless, he remains faithful

--- for he cannot deny himself.

2 Timothy 2:11-13 (ESV)